Thursday, August 27, 2015


Here I am. Tomorrow is my last "acute" ECT treatment, which means I won't be having treatments 3 times per week anymore. They'll go to maintenance treatments after tomorrow. I have no idea what that means for me driving or going back to work or having any semblance of a normal life.

I feel so damn alone. Exactly zero people have checked in on me since I've been home. Friends that I thought were great friends turned out to not be so great. I'm thinking about applying for disability anyway. I just don't know if I have what it takes to hold down a normal job. So I'm starting to look for other employment opportunities and also thinking about disability.

I start First Flight in just a couple of weeks and I am super nervous about it. I'm going to be the fattest, slowest person there. I know I will be. I always am. Just another part of my depressing life. Ugggh. I don't wish this life on anyone.

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